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The City of Niagara Falls, USA
“Your inlaws are not a retirement plan.”- Billboard, I-190 North I’m in a wasteland, driving to a destination already destroyed. Niagara Falls’ present is America’s future: a place half-full of mutant junkies squatting in burnt-out mansions. The Munsters without a laugh track. Warlocks, vampires, and oddly preserved blondes driving boosted 2002 Chevy Trailblazers with garbage…
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Rainbow Roller Rink
“I don’t know what’s gonna happen, but I wanna have my kicks before the whole shithouse goes up in flames.” – Jim Morrison North Tonawanda is a charming timewarp wasteland. An ornate den in the polluted and odorous soils of the Rust Belt, home to creatures only found in 21st-century post-industrial terrain. Mutants likely conceived…
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Circus Sarasota
As I approach the giant candy cane swirled tent, I hear a man screaming in fear. Showtime is in three minutes and people are moving fast. Somewhere in this geriatric stampede, someone is dying. Perhaps an escaped tiger has let out the frustrations of its confined torment on the wrinkled flesh of a boomer, or…
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Angels’ Trumpets
A little shrub, deadly, in the night’s shade. Pale upright trumpet bells bloom, glowing in the moon’s cool light. An acrid smell reveals a wound, where a thorny pod was torn away. Johnny, a teenager, carries it to a campsite with friends. Open now, he looks at the seeds. Little grains of ancient lore he’ll…
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The Boulevard Mall
There is one customer here. A middle-aged, potbellied Hispanic man is sitting in a black pay-per-use massage chair. He’s crying, holding his cell phone inches from his face. His case is one of those floppy leather wallet hybrids. It looks like he’s tearfully examining a pumpernickel sandwich. The loud tin of its speaker reveals the…
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Wegmans, Alberta Drive
“Everything popular is wrong.”- Oscar Wilde This place is a giant brown refrigerator and it’s butts-to-nuts crowded. All I need is some coffee and a bar of soap. This should only take about 3 hours. Everyone is confused. International students and elderly whites are crashing carts and getting lost. There’s a rumor that someone died…
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“Bubble Party”, Amherst NY
I’m at an exclusive county club watching the performance of a high-tech Eastern European clown. She’s dressed like a neon tulip and dancing in front of a strobing 20,000-dollar pile of Best Buy Credit Card debt. She’s making all kinds of bubbles: shapes and varieties not yet described by science. An audience of toddlers is…
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Her Name Was Betty.
a short story. The oracles are interested in my lower extremities. One of them is weeping as she applies amber serum to the joints near my feet. Her name is Merlow. I can tell her apart from the others by the magenta streaks on her face. She’s a quack, but I have to play along.…
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Tonawanda Bowling Center Part II
“I’ve got 4 dollars in quarters. Want to help me find the sock machine?” It’s 9 PM on a Saturday and Jimbo is sopping wet. “Sock Machine?” He must be joking. Jimbo cautiously uncurls his hand and reveals a giant pile of change. Jesus Christ, is there a sock machine here? I decide I can’t…
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Tonawanda Bowling Center (TBC)
In the mid 90’s, my entire personality came from the TBC arcade. Prize tickets were my main currency. My fortune was tied up in temporary tattoos, Trolls, and alien keychains. When I ran out of coins, I spent hours watching Mortal Kombat 2 while it ran endless clips of human carnage. Raiden was my favorite…