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Cherry Laurel Lanes, Amherst NY
Who is the maniac that has been polishing the doorknobs here for the past 40 years? Some janitorial warlock has hidden this place from the ever-consuming jaws of time. Armed with wax and Windex, they have stopped all decay. Cherry Laurel is in stasis. Free of entropy. Immortal. It is old, yet stunningly clean. If…
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Keglers at Transit Lanes Inc., Williamsville, NY
Keglers at Transit Lanes may be some of the best food you will ever eat at a bowling alley, for good reason too. The staff knows that serving lousy finger foods may provoke horrific physical attacks from the human-sasquatch hybrids that eat here. Kegler’s grill keeps their clientele happy. At Keglers, culinary art is simply…
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AMF Airport Lanes. Cheektowaga, NY
If I am ever rendered intellectually ‘unable’ to entertain myself, please make sure my caretakers send me to AMF lanes weekly. It has everything for the homeboys: bowling, an arcade, pizza with extra cheese, and a tiny bar that serves Malibu. While you strap on my velcro shoes, I need you to understand something. I…
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Five Star Lanes, South Buffalo, NY
I am a yank. This is a cold hard fact that I often forget. That is until I am forced to listen to pop-country-rap for two hours straight. Blasting through a dusty speaker synched with a disco light that has been set to “seizure mode” since 1999. The nostalgia is heavy. As are the arms…